I am a huge fan of chocolate milk. And there are no doubts: Pre-made chocolate milk is the best. It’s one of those things that can’t be replicated by even the best powders. (Don’t even get me started on that chocolate syrup shit.) I think the main reason is the natural thickness…they’re almost like milkshakes in carton form. 

Today we’ll be looking at Aldi’s attempt at pre-cartoned cocoa milk, which is the only kind that Aldi carries (besides that junk syrup shit). I used to get it quite frequently, back when a half-gallon could consistently be scored for $.99. But those days seem to be long gone; now, they retail for $1.77 and rarely drop below that. Until this latest trip, where the price was lowered to $1.33. In the past, I wouldn’t spend that much for a half gallon, but considering it was the lowest I’d seen in months, I set aside my pride and grabbed one.

The milk is good, but only in the way that all chocolate milks are good by default. It’s one of those things that just can’t be fully screwed up. Like pizza, or donuts. Friendly Farms’ version is thinner than other brands, so it doesn’t have that rich, creamy consistency featured in all the best ones. It’s also a very light shade of brown that pretty much tells you there’s not enough chocolate in there. But hey, looks can be deceiving, right?

Well, sometimes, looks aren’t deceiving: This is every bit as disappointing as it appears to be. It tastes like they made a super-strong chocolate milk, and then added water to try to dilute it. As a result, it never hits the lofty chocolate heights that the best cocoa-based milks provide. In fact, it doesn’t really even come close. 

I still grab it occasionally during the rare instances they’re on sale, but it’s probably the worst private label chocolate milk I’ve had. I’m tempted to say it would be a good option for those who like their chocolate milk on the lighter side, but is that even a real demographic?

Hey, at least it’s still better than making it with that shit chocolate syrup.

Overall: 5/10. Chocolate milk can’t really be screwed up, and this is no exception. However, it’s probably the worst out of the private labels that I’ve had, with a thin consistency that is barely any better than using the powder (or even – gag – the syrup). The flavor tastes almost diluted, like they made it too chocolatey and helped offset it by trying to add water. You know how when you eat chocolate cereal, there’s that milk left at the bottom? Yeah, it kind of looks like that. It’s drinkable, but given the fact it rarely strays from its $1.77 price tag, value isn’t part of its draw.