I’m always on the lookout for new things to try in the breakfast aisle. It’s just too easy to get caught up in the same purchasing routine. People tend to find something they like, and then just stick to that until they get sick of it. I know I’m guilty of it, what with the default toaster pastries and granola bars constantly filling my work snack bag. But this trip I wanted to try something new, and so I grabbed a box of Baker’s Treat Apple Cinnamon Danishes. I’ve already taken a look at their cheese version a little while ago, so it was only a matter of time until I got around to this one.

I had many a cheese danish growing up; it was one of those things my mom got pretty frequently. Which is weird, because I have only seen them a handful of times since. I feel like she was one of the only people keeping the danish industry in business. Even throughout all those years, I never really knew if I liked them or not. They’re an acquired taste, to be sure, with a certain kind of sourness to balance some of the sweet. And the trademark dryness did nothing to really sway my opinion. 

The previous paragraph pertained to the large, multi-serving “bakery-style” danishes. And they were cheese, not apple cinnamon. So really this story has very-little-to-no bearing on the rest of the review. Now I think I’m beginning to see why no one reads these.

First impressions: These are a good size. Actually, I noticed the packaging had a little bit of heft to it. That’s not always the case with Baker’s Treat, whose snack cakes have seemingly gotten smaller while the prices have risen/stayed the same. True to form, these are pretty large and would make a great accompaniment to breakfast. Or, in my case, a straight-up breakfast on its own. They aren’t filling, but there’s enough here to get you at least a couple hours of energy, until you can find something better. 

Another first impression: These look very little like actual danishes. I suppose the exterior of the pastry itself looks kind of “croissanty”, and therefore similar, but there’s something missing. Where’s the “pocket” of filling that’s usually viewable from the outside? Instead, all of the filling is contained inside, making it look more like an American donut than a Danish specialty. I suppose mass-produced foods aren’t really built on tradition, though.

First taste impression: Dry. I suppose that’s what I expected; danishes are usually one of the driest pastries ever (see second paragraph, which may have served a point after all). Or at least, the supermarket ones my mom bought always were. I always remember the one or two bites leading up to the middle (and at the end) were always lackluster. It’s the same case here, with only a slight drizzle of icing there to offset the boring croissant-style pastry underneath. Why are these a thing, again? (I suppose it’s wrong of me to base a cultural tradition off of examples from American supermarkets, but hey…) There is a little sweetness to the pastry itself, but it’s overall very listless.

Once we get to the apple cinnamon, however, things really start to take a…okay, I’m not fooling anyone. These are pretty lackluster all around. As mentioned before, these pastries are pretty thick, which is a good thing. But the filling inside takes up, like, a centimeter of vertical space. And maybe half of its horizontal width (or whatever the official term is). Which is a bad thing. In other words, these are ridiculously underfilled. The apple cinnamon combination is one you can’t screw up, and flavorwise, this one doesn’t. But there should be a lot more of it to counteract the boring blandness of the bread. And it should be on the outside, to make it look more authentic.

At any rate, I will probably not be getting these again.

Overall: 4.5/10. An overwhelming amount of pastry paired up with a lack of filling sinks this one before it has a chance to take flight. The first couple bites are just bread and icing drizzle, my worst fear realized. But even once you hit the “good stuff” in the middle, there just isn’t enough there. It’s like encountering a puddle in the middle of the desert; it’s a welcome site, but it ain’t going to do much to satisfy you on its own. It’s not outright horrible, and the $3.49 price tag is decent, but there’s nothing even approaching “noteworthy” here at all.