I was at ALDI looking for something to eat for lunch when this noodle bowl caught my eye. I’m not typically a big fan of noodles, but Aldi’s Fusia line has some of my favorite lo mein noodle bowls ever, so I figured I would give this a chance.

That does lead me to a curious observation: Why is this being released under the “Park Street Deli” label, instead of “Fusia”? For the uninitiated, Fusia is typically the name reserved for Aldi’s Asian-style cuisine, including the noodle bowls I alluded to in the previous paragraph. Park Street Deli, on the other hand, is their line of refrigerated, mostly “American” (i.e. pulled pork) foods and sides (i.e. macaroni and cheese). It seems a super-odd fit, but at the end of the day, I suppose the name on the packaging doesn’t really matter…it’s what’s inside.

First things first, right out of the out of the packaging, I must say this looks very unappealing. It almost looks like it was designed in the ’70s, with a very neutral, very boring color scheme thanks to the green peppers, onions and red peppers. The chicken looks very white, and about as unappetizing as you would expect from a refrigerated noodle bowl.

Flavor-wise, unfortunately, everything matches up to the appearance; this is a very uninspiring product on all fronts. There’s barely any of the Szechuan style sauce that’s mentioned on the packaging – there’s so little, in fact, that it typically acts more like a “glaze” rather than a sauce. Literally. There’s no liquid at all even in the bottom of the bowl…whatever you have sticking to the noodles is all you get. The chicken is unseasoned and provides literally nothing to the proceedings save for an unnecessary spongeness to the texture. The flavor is surprisingly light and very dull for a product with “Szhechuan” in the title, with the vegetables actually providing the most taste in the whole dish. I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s certainly appropriate to repeat here: anytime vegetables carry the flavor, you have quite a big problem.

Especially in a product with “Szechuan” in its name. I’m by no means a connoisseur of that word, so I could be way off, but I always equated it with spicy dishes, and this isn’t even remotely spicy. Now, I’m not really complaining and neither is our four-year-old son, who, against all odds, actually seemed to like it and kept coming back for more bites – but other fans who might have been drawn to this based on the promise of something spicy will be even more disappointed with the outcome than I was.

It should go without saying that I am unanimously not recommending this dish despite my son’s unwavering enthusiasm for it. And at $2.99 per package, it’s really more of a waste of money than anything else. It’s the type of product for which Aldi’s satisfaction guarantee was created, something I have curiously never contemplated using even after suffering through the worst of Aldi’s private label offerings.

Overall: 4.5/10. I’ve certainly had worse, but this $2.99 noodle bowl from Aldi is his uninspiring as they come. The noodles are flavorless, the chicken is creepy, the sauce is virtually non-existent, and despite the “Szechuan” in the title there’s absolutely no heat whatsoever. Instead, it’s the vegetables that carry all the flavor, which is generally a bad sign anywhere, but especially an Asian cuisine. To be fair, our four year old son did like it, but I’m overriding his opinion because I’m his father and have more experience with taste. Take a pass on this one.